Alex Bregman is DHing With Eight Facial Fractures Because the Cubs Are Desperate

Playing professional baseball with eight broken bones in your face sounds like a plot point from a gritty 1980s sports movie, but for Alex Bregman, it is just tonight's lineup card.

Chicago Cubs manager Craig Counsell announced that Bregman will serve as the designated hitter tonight against the San Diego Padres instead of playing third base. The reason is objectively insane: Bregman suffered eight facial fractures just nine days ago, and Counsell decided that putting him in the field was simply too much of a risk.

"Craig Counsell stated that Bregman's at-bats are 'vitally important' and it is 'too big of a risk' to play him in the field."

You have to appreciate the medical threshold at work here. A normal person takes a week off work for a bad sinus infection. Bregman fractures his face in eight different places, and the Cubs just tell him to stop playing defense for a few days. Counsell flat-out admitted Bregman's bat is too important to sit, which is the nicest possible way to tell your medical staff to look the other way.

The desperation makes sense when you look at the numbers. Bregman is sitting on 28 home runs and 93 RBIs with a .265 average this season. Chicago is limping into Petco Park after dropping four of their last six games to the Miami Marlins and Boston Red Sox, and they desperately need offense against Padres starter Michael King and his 3.21 ERA.

For anyone eyeing the prop markets, Bregman being locked into the DH spot means his bat is fully live, but the Cubs' infield defense takes a hit. Backing Chicago starter Matthew Boyd to keep a clean sheet gets a little riskier when the defense behind him has to shuffle to protect a guy whose face is currently held together by willpower.

We will see how the fractured face handles a major-league fastball tonight at 10:00 PM ET. If Bregman manages to take King deep while looking like he just went twelve rounds in a boxing ring, the rest of the Chicago clubhouse officially has zero excuses for the rest of the season.