Celtics Roll Out Absurd Supersized Lineup Featuring Jordan Walsh

The Boston Celtics are rolling out a starting five on Friday night that looks like a 2K MyLeague simulation where the user accidentally hit auto-generate. According to Underdog NBA, Boston will start Derrick White, Jordan Walsh, Paul George, Jayson Tatum, and Mitchell Robinson against the New York Knicks.

Yes, you read that correctly. Jordan Walsh is starting an actual, meaningful NBA basketball game alongside Jayson Tatum and Paul George.

"Walsh over Pritchard is crazy lmao my parlay already cooked before the game even starts"

For context, Walsh is a guy who spent his 2023 rookie season logging minutes so deep in garbage time that the arena staff was already sweeping the aisles. Now, he is being trusted to set the tone for a team with massive expectations.

The move comes right after Boston dropped a 121-113 game to the Detroit Pistons earlier this week. Clearly, the Celtics looked at that defensive tape and decided the answer was to just throw as much size on the floor as legally permitted.

The immediate casualty here is Payton Pritchard. Fans and bettors alike were expecting him to get the nod, with one perfectly reasonable internet user pointing out that their parlay was cooked before the opening tip even happened.

If you are holding tickets on Boston's rotation players, this is your daily reminder that NBA teams do not care about your fantasy roster or your prop bets. They care about finding a combination of humans that can stop the bleeding after giving up 121 points to Detroit.

Friday night’s matchup against the Knicks will be the first real test for this supersized experiment. If Walsh holds his own, Boston might have found a bizarre new cheat code. If not, expect the rotation roulette wheel to keep spinning.