Cowboys Buy the Von Miller Brand While Jamal Adams Suffers Brutal Preseason Break

The Dallas Cowboys looking at a 37-year-old pass rusher and deciding he is the missing piece to a Super Bowl run is the most predictable plot twist of the NFL offseason. Ian Rapoport reported Monday that Von Miller is officially heading to Dallas, giving Jerry Jones exactly what he wants: a massive brand name who used to terrify quarterbacks during the Obama administration.

To be fair to Miller, he is not entirely washed. He managed nine sacks in 17 games for the Washington Commanders last season, pushing his career total to an absurd 138.5. But expecting him to anchor a defense in 2026 is like buying a vintage sports car as your daily commuter. It looks great in the driveway, but you are going to be sweating every time you hit a pothole.

"Ian Rapoport tweeted: 'Von Miller lands with the #Cowboys' and 'Jamal Adams out for the season'."

While Dallas is buying nostalgia, the Minnesota Vikings are dealing with a nightmare. Rapoport also confirmed that safety Jamal Adams is out for the season after tearing his ACL in a meaningless preseason game against the New York Giants.

Adams went down on a non-contact play, which is the exact phrase that makes every football fan sick to their stomach. The 30-year-old has spent the last few years battling a laundry list of knee and quad injuries, and losing him in mid-August is a brutal blow to a Minnesota secondary that needed his veteran violence. If you were looking at Vikings defensive props, it might be time to recalculate.

The rest of Rapoport's Monday news dump felt like a chaotic group chat update. The Indianapolis Colts are apparently leaning toward keeping Anthony Richardson, which is wild considering he spent most of last year recovering from a fractured eye socket. Meanwhile, George Kittle is eyeing a Week 1 return for the San Francisco 49ers, because of course he is.

Richardson staying in Indianapolis keeps their quarterback room as the ultimate high-variance gamble. You are either getting a highlight reel or a medical report, with absolutely zero in between.

With Week 1 closing in, the board is officially set. Dallas fans have two weeks to convince themselves Von Miller is winning Defensive Player of the Year, while the Vikings have to figure out how to patch a massive hole in their secondary before the real games start.