Joey Porter Jr. Has 'Other Medical Plans' As Steelers Push For Week 3 Return

The Pittsburgh Steelers are officially planning for cornerback Joey Porter Jr. to make his season debut next Sunday against the Cincinnati Bengals. Joey Porter Jr., however, appears to be planning literally anything else.

According to Adam Schefter, the team expects their star corner back on the field for Week 3, but Porter has "other medical plans." That is a phenomenal phrase. Having "other medical plans" is the NFL equivalent of telling your boss you cannot come into the office because your dog ate your Wi-Fi router. It is a masterclass in quiet quitting.

"Adam Schefter reported Porter has 'other medical plans.'"

The context here is hilarious if you are not a Steelers fan. Porter missed Week 1 against the Atlanta Falcons and Week 2 against the New England Patriots with a back issue that mysteriously morphed into a "non-injury-related conditioning" designation on the practice report.

Now, reports from ESPN's Jeremy Fowler are leaking that Porter simply no longer wants to play in Pittsburgh. When a player goes from limited practice reps to suddenly needing alternative medical evaluations right as trade rumors peak, you do not need a medical degree to diagnose the actual problem.

The Steelers desperately need him on the field. Porter was a lockdown defender in 2023, holding opposing quarterbacks to a miserable 47.6 percent completion rate as a rookie. You do not just replace that kind of production, especially with a divisional matchup against the Bengals looming.

But the Detroit Lions just got absolutely torched on defense on national television, making them an incredibly obvious trade destination. If you are a bettor trying to project the Pittsburgh secondary for next week's game, you should probably hold off on factoring Porter into your models. A guy who does not want to be in the building usually finds a way to stay out of it.

We will find out soon enough if Porter actually suits up against Cincinnati. Until then, expect his medical chart to look incredibly complicated right up until the trade deadline.