Penguins Place Four on IR in Preseason Roster Meltdown

The Pittsburgh Penguins just placed four players on injured reserve at the exact same time, a move that sounds less like a standard hockey transaction and more like the aftermath of a cursed team-building retreat.

Daily Faceoff reported the mass roster move on Sunday afternoon. With the regular season knocking on the door, Pittsburgh is already clearing out locker stalls to make room for the medical staff.

"Daily Faceoff reported the transaction on Sunday."

The timing is objectively hilarious if you are not a Penguins fan. The team just wrapped up a chaotic stretch of late-September hockey, going 2-2 over their last four games while giving up seven goals to the Detroit Red Wings and getting shut out by the Columbus Blue Jackets. Now, instead of finalizing line combinations, they are shuffling bodies to the injured list before the games even count.

The team's injury report has been a revolving door of bad news lately, with guys like Ben Kindel, Blake Lizotte, and Justin Brazeau all dealing with various ailments. When you have to make four IR moves in a single press release, your training staff needs to stop taping ankles and start burning sage.

Losing one player to start the year is bad luck. Losing four at once is the hockey equivalent of your car's check engine light turning on while you are still pulling out of the dealership parking lot.

For anyone looking at early-season futures or opening night moneylines, this is a massive red flag. You cannot confidently handicap a roster that is already holding open tryouts to fill out the bottom six.

Pittsburgh has to finalize their opening night lineup immediately, but the depth chart is already running on fumes. If this attrition rate keeps up, they are going to have to start pulling fans out of the lower bowl to play left wing by Thanksgiving.