Week 9 NFL QB Chaos: Milton, Sanders, and Minshew Take Over

The NFL just dropped a Week 9 quarterback slate that looks like a preseason fever dream.

Ian Rapoport confirmed a massive wave of under-center musical chairs for Sunday. Drew Lock is taking over for the Seattle Seahawks, Gardner Minshew is firing up the mustache for the Arizona Cardinals, Joe Milton gets the nod for the Philadelphia Eagles, and Shedeur Sanders is stepping in for the Cleveland Browns. Oh, and Lamar Jackson is out here promising he is not done for the year, which is exactly what you want to hear from your franchise quarterback in November.

"Lamar Jackson believes he’s not done yet."

Let us start in Philadelphia, where the 2-6 Eagles are officially throwing spaghetti at the wall. Jalen Hurts is sidelined, Tanner McKee just piloted them through a six-game losing streak, and now head coach Nick Sirianni is handing the keys to Joe Milton against the New York Giants. Milton has a cannon that could launch a football into orbit, but trusting a rookie who just arrived from the Dallas Cowboys practice squad to save your season is a tough sell at the betting window.

Over in Cleveland, the 5-3 Browns are turning to Shedeur Sanders. Deshaun Watson took a brutal hit against the Pittsburgh Steelers and is stuck in concussion protocol. Sanders gets to make his first start against the New Orleans Saints, which instantly makes Cleveland the most fascinating watch of the afternoon.

Then we have the NFC West backup bowl. Sam Darnold is dealing with quad and rib injuries after getting beat up by the Chicago Bears, so the 4-4 Seahawks are rolling with Drew Lock. He gets to duel Gardner Minshew, who just came off the bench to steal an overtime win against Dallas and is now trying to drag the 3-5 Cardinals back from the dead.

Meanwhile, the Baltimore Ravens are sitting at 4-5 and holding their breath. Jackson missed practice time with an ankle issue, and while he is telling teammates he plans to return this season, the fact that we even need that reassurance is terrifying for anyone holding a Baltimore futures ticket.

We are officially in the survival phase of the NFL calendar. If your team is trotting out a guy who was holding a clipboard three weeks ago, just close your eyes, pray for a defensive touchdown, and hope the injury report looks better by Tuesday.